


Breathe me

by shikisaivivid



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Dragon AU, Dragon Riders, M/M, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 10:40:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15094997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shikisaivivid/pseuds/shikisaivivid
Summary: When Kyoutani arrived to this hidden village, he had been younger and truly a fool. He didn't know what was good or bad and disobeyed all their rules. The ones who earned his respect at that time, was a young dragon rider named Oikawa Tooru with his magnificent dragon Iwaizumi Hajime. Kyoutani was saved by them and remembered it so well.





	Breathe me

**Author's Note:**

> Please mind the tags, it's really angsty with MCD and no truly happy ending. I wanted something painful as I was listening to Sia's Breathe me.

That feeling. He woke up in an empty bed and he had a cold, churning feeling in his gut. That feeling was never welcome and he became completely awake in less than ten seconds. Up, dressed and just as he was about to grab his broadsword when he heard the knock on his door. He only turn to see the door open and a familiar face looked in, dark eyes framed with thick eyebrows and slightly curly, dark hair.  
“It's about Hajime… and it's not good.” Matsukawa said before he turned to leave again. Kyoutani felt his heart drop.  
“No…” He silently said before he hurried after him.

When Kyoutani arrived to this hidden village, he had been younger and truly a fool. He didn't know what was good or bad and disobeyed all their rules. The ones who earned his respect at that time, was a young dragon rider named Oikawa Tooru with his magnificent dragon Iwaizumi Hajime. Kyoutani was saved by them and remembered it so well. The purple flames eating everything around him, killing off his attackers. As he was laying there, injured and weak, he had felt the vibrations in the ground and saw a big dragon with its rider enter through the flames, all black scales that shimmered in the most beautiful colors from the dancing fire all around them. Then the eyes. Brightly green, determined and piercing. On its back there was a rider, a warrior with his hair swept back by the wind. He wasn't afraid of the flames and stayed unharmed by them, his eyes and posture showing no fear whatsoever.  
“Iwa-chan, bring this one home, he's injured.” The rider said and his dragon snorted slightly.  
“You let me burn everyone else to ashes, but you want to save a stray?” The dragon said, voice deep and slightly gruff. Kyoutani could feel the dragonriders eyes bore holes into his soul and the feeling was terrifying. Then the rider smiled widely.  
“Yes, he got fight left. We need the feisty ones.”   
Kyoutani heard no more as he passed out. But when he woke up again, he was in a clean bed, wounds all wrapped up and slightly numb. He felt safe and secure, a feeling he never before had felt. 

He quickly learned to know Oikawa and his ways. He was a firm and diligent leader, working to aim for the best result for all of them. Dragonriders and dragons weren't that common nowadays, so they sticked together in smaller, rebellious groups and just tried their best to stay alive. The group they took Kyoutani to, was just that kind of group, humans and dragons living peacefully together. Dragons could decide themself if they wanted to remain in their dragon form or take a human appearance, all were welcome. Kyoutani learned to know that almost every dragon in their small, defensive group of flying warriors, had been trained by Oikawa personally, but Iwaizumi was his companion, the one he would always return to. He was slightly terrified to see how connected those two were, anywhere Oikawa went, Iwaizumi followed, as dragon or as a human. They could share one look without words and decisions were made. They were connected and completely in sync. But Iwaizumi was definitely the most genuine, gentle and strong person Kyoutani ever had met. They spent a lot of time together, Iwaizumi let him learn about their rules and their customs. Oikawa was busy training a new dragon, a younger one who had found his way to Oikawa one day, weak and dying. He was far away from that now, looking healthy and strong with pale,silvery white scales and intense golden brown eyes, but he had a temper. His name was Yahaba and he quickly learned Kyoutani how much he disliked him, and he himself learned to keep a safe distance from him. Especially when Yahaba tried to burn him with brightly pink- and red colored flames. Oikawa just laughed and steered the dragon away.  
“Sorry, Yahaba is so grumpy.” He said lightly, getting a huff in reply from Yahaba, before they left. Kyoutani saw something reflect in Iwaizumi’s green eyes. Jealousy. Contained jealousy but so clear and so intense. He didn't dare to ask, but he carefully asked Watari later as they were having dinner. Iwaizumi was once more by Oikawa's side, sitting close together, fuzzing over blisters on Oikawa's palms. Watari leaned in closer to him and dropped his voice slightly.  
“Dragons are extremely territorial and even if Iwaizumi-san isn't saying it outloud, he hates seeing his rider with other dragons. Then again, Oikawa and Iwaizumi are soulmates, partners and lovers. Best friends. None of us know for how long they’ve known each other, because they have always been together ever since we first met them years ago.”   
Kyoutani felt himself being jealous of their closeness, their bond to each other. He felt the sting in his heart, since he during this time slowly had developed feelings for Iwaizumi. He wanted to have him, more than just a friend, but he knew what the best thing was and that was to keep his mouth shut. So he did just that, lived on and never told anyone about his feelings. Sometimes however, he could feel Oikawa's piercing eyes as he studied him and he felt like he knew about it. He knew, but he never brought it up. One night as he returned to his room in one of the bigger houses, a certain tall brunette was standing outside waiting.  
“Kyouken-chan.” _God, how he hated that nickname_ , but there was something in his tone, something that kept him silent. Oikawa cleared his throat again.  
“Please take care of Iwa-chan. He… deserves happiness.”  
He said and Kyoutani could directly hear the warning bells ring.  
“Where are you going?”  
Oikawa gave him a small smile before squeezing his shoulders quickly, then started to walk away.  
”The less you know, the better.”  
Kyoutani watched him walk away and went to his room and got strictly to bed. The morning he was woken up by a dragon cry high enough to make the glass windows shudder. And he knew directly it was Iwaizumi. He threw on some clothes and ran out only to see a black dragon cry, screaming after Oikawa, where he was. Why he left him behind. He couldn't sense him, smell him, nothing. Matsukawa was trying to calm him, other dragons were trying as hard as they could. As the intense green eyes fell upon Kyoutani, he rushed up to him, furious and breathing out hot smoke all over him.  
“Where is Oikawa?! I can smell him on you!” He growled and Kyoutani felt his heart leap into his throat. Today, he was brave. He took a deep breath and put his hands against his muzzle.  
“Calm down Iwa… Hajime.” He said with his most gentle voice, feeling the dragon shift but still stare intensely.  
“He told me he had to leave, and I know nothing more.”  
He was at this moment glad that it was the truth, because he knew he wouldn't be able to lie to the slightly older man. Those words seemed to break him and as he shifted back into his human shape, he leaned into Kyoutanis arms, crying his heart out. And he hold him, hushed him as he caressed his back, trying to calm down his hiccups and cries. _I can't replace you Oikawa, but I will do my best to take care of him._

Iwaizumi wasn't the same after that day. He closed himself of to everyone except Kyoutani, but he knew he never told him everything. He hold a lot closed off to everyone, dealing with it on his own. As the hour was late, Iwaizumi would sneak inside of his room and slip into Kyoutanis bed, search for his comfort. Kyoutani never hesitated, he opened his arms for him and the hours they spent intimately were more worth than any gold in the world to him. He found himself wanted and loved, Iwaizumi found comfort in his grieving. But it would only stay there, in his bedroom, in the darkness. As morning came and sun started to rise, Iwaizumi would already be gone and act like nothing happened during the day. Iwaizumi made it as well very clear that his only rider was Oikawa, no one would ever be on his back unless it was him. And he was firm believer that he would return, even if he felt betrayed. Kyoutani felt the aching pain in his chest, knowing he would never be enough for Iwaizumi. Whatever happened, he wasn't enough. That dragon had only one. Only Oikawa. And Kyoutani would never take his role.

With no signs of Oikawa returning, and months passing by, Iwaizumi spent all time he could with Kyoutani. Everyone in their village knew how much Kyoutani respected and loved Iwaizumi and it wasn't completely one-sided. He did have strong feelings towards Kyoutani, but he didn't love him. Not the way he loved Oikawa. He could feel his heart ache and no matter how much affection he got from Kyoutani, it didn't dull the ache. He felt that a part of him, a part of his soul, was missing for him. One night he woke up with a sudden pain in his chest. He gasped for air and felt Kyoutani stir awake next to him, trying to calm him, telling him it was only a nightmare. But it felt more, it was something else. Something felt like it died inside of him, being ripped apart and it made him incredibly anxious. It couldn't be a good omen.

 

Kyoutani hurried to catch up with Matsukawa.  
“What happened?” He asked, still feeling the heart in his throat. He was nervous. Matsukawa had a deeper frown than usual.  
“The Karasuno-tribe just arrived and their leader came with a letter to him… no good news.”  
Kyoutani had heard about that tribe, that they would soon join them and connect their forces. Daichi had contacted them after a meeting with a certain Oikawa Tooru. As they returned outdoors, he realized how bad the situation was, since Iwaizumi was going berserk, burning down anything close to him, letting out painful dragon cries. Kyoutani saw their dragonriders as well as unknown dragonriders up in the sky. They all tried to avoid the scorching flames, they were all trying to take him down, which only seemed to enrage him more. Kyoutani saw the letter and an envelope, slightly burned at the edges, but still fully readable. 

_Hajime,_   
_Please don't be angry, but I was realizing my time was running out, and I wanted for all of you to be safe, to get stronger. And I couldn't say goodbye, I'm weak that way. You would have stopped me, I know you. No one in my family have lived past 30, not my mother, not my sister and neither will I. I don't want you to see me getting sicker and weaker for everyday, I don't want you to remember me like that. I don't want you to wake up next to me to realize I've died in my sleep. And when this letter is reaching you, I have taken my last breath. I asked for the Karasuno-tribe to burn my body, spread the ashes with the wind under the night sky. My soul will find rest among the stars and one day you will join me and we will once more fly together through the most beautiful skies._   
_With all of my heart and soul, I love you Hajime. Don't you ever forget that. But please live on. You are strong._   
_Farewell my best friend. My soulmate._   
_Tooru._

Kyoutani felt something in the envelope and checked, in there was the earring Oikawa always had, the one made of Iwaizumi’s scales and teal gems. He felt his eyes well up with tears. Oikawa was gone.  
“Hajime…” he whispered, seeing the pain reflect in the green eyes as Iwaizumi spit indigo flames against the group of dragons again. A silver dragon landed close to them and its rider joined them, a sturdy man with short, raven hair.  
“We can't… he is getting out of control.”  
“Can't you force him to calm down or something?” Kyoutani asked, but he was feeling that bad feeling again deep down in his gut. The newcomer looked at him.  
“You must understand, he have lost his soulmate, a dragon who lose their true soulmate, it drives them mad. Haven't he felt pain?”  
Kyoutani got flashbacks from the last nights, how Iwaizumi had turned, moving around without getting relaxed, and when he fell asleep, he could whine from pain, curl up completely and not wanted anyone to touch him. It wasn't nightmares, it was a broken bond. The rider had a slight frown, looking worried as he kept talking.  
“When his rage is gone, his heart will slowly stop beating, a long and painful process, or even worse. He could grow cold, and then you all would know where does old tales of horror comes from when it's about dragons. For everyone's sake, especially his… he need to be put to rest.”  
Kyoutani let the man’s words sink in before he looked up. He looked at the dragon he had come to love so much, painfully much.  
“I'll do it.” He said, voice surprisingly calm. “I'll be the only one who can get close enough.”  
Kyoutani grabbed his sword and walked out from their hidden, protected place, even if he heard Matsukawa call after him to stop him. Iwaizumi's eyes fell onto him directly and landed in front of him.  
“You! Why didn't you stop him that day? Why?!”  
He cried, coming closer with that mad look in his eyed, sparks flying from him.  
“Hajime, I knew nothing of this, please calm down.”  
“He's gone Ken and it hurts. IT HURTS!!” He breathed out fire all around him and he could feel it burn against his skin, but he didn't move. Leaves from the trees fell down in flakes of ashes, it looked like black and gray snowflakes.  
“I wanted you for myself.” Kyoutani admitted, seeing the rage well up more from the dragon.  
“Without him I could have you for myself.” Iwaizumi growled before he lunged himself at him, directly at his sword. Kyoutani didn't avail, felt the sword slowly sink through his hard scales, piercing his chest. As he slowly sunk down, life leaving his green eyes, a deep sigh left him.  
“I'm coming, my Love…” Was his last words before the dragon’s heart stopped beating. Kyoutani let go of the sword, letting it stay there pierced, as he sunk down on his knees. His hands were shaking, but he was holding back his feelings not to break down. No one came close, but sorrow was heavy in the air. They have lost their strongest leaders, but to Kyoutani it was even worse. He had lived all this time loving Iwaizumi so deeply, but he never truly loved him back the same way. He was only a rebound guy, someone to take of the edge of the pain. And it broke him. He felt someone who nudged his shoulder gently and he looked up to see Yahaba standing there in his human form, holding out his hand.   
“Come, let's get you away from here.” He looked grieving as well, but Kyoutani took his hand, let him pull him away from the crowds and the whole scene. The horrifying scene of dead and burned trees, injured warriors and a dead dragon. Kyoutani hold onto Yahaba’s hand like his own life depended on it. His stress level was at maximum, hating to feel the control over his own feelings slip, his facade cracking. He never showed emotions around anyone except Iwaizumi. Never. And now they were threatening to spill out everywhere. He wasn't sure where Yahaba took him, but he heard a door open, then close behind him. Yahaba pulled him down with him onto a couch, then right into his warm embrace. He hold him tightly, even if Kyoutani was so tense, but Yahaba slowly caressed his back.  
“Let it all out now, we’re alone.” He whispered and Kyoutani broke down in tears. He screamed, cried, gasped desperately for air. The pain in his chest was so awful and he wanted it all out. Yahaba just hold him, being calm and soothing, holding him until his cries turned into sobs instead. Kyoutani blinked a little, confused at first, then he realized that the dragon was purring slightly. It was low, coming from his chest, but it was definitely a purr.  
“You're… purring…” He said with hoarse voice and the purring quickly stopped.  
“Oh… sorry.” He replied, a bit embarrassed. “It's a way for us to soothe other. It's not heard as much, purring is louder as dragon. But yeah, I just… care for you and wanted to make you feel secure and calm. I care for you.” Yahaba's face was a little flushed, looking away while he explained. Kyoutani curled up in his embrace again, closing his eyes. Iwaizumi never did that to him. But when he now heard Yahaba talk about it, he realized Iwaizumi did that a lot with Oikawa. When he gave him those small reassuring touches, he had purred, when situations were rough and stressful for Oikawa, he had done it as well. But never with Kyoutani. _Never._ He felt his eyes tear up again and hugged the dragon tighter. That relationship was never meant to be, but it hurt so much.  
“Why are you nice to me? You hate me?” Kyoutani weakly said.   
“It's not only you who lost someone. Oikawa will never come back. And he gave me life back.”  
He replied silently and Kyoutani understood. Oikawa had been the one saving Yahaba, teaching him everything. Protecting him.  
“I just want to have a friend.” Yahaba added just as silent and Kyoutani hugged him only more. They stayed like that, both broken and in deep sorrow.  
“Please purr again. Just… Hold me… Breathe me.” Kyoutani pleaded, resting his head against his chest, he just wanted to feel needed by someone. He needed someone. And Yahaba purred, holding him closely. One day they might be okay again. One day.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated! Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://shikisaivivid.tumblr.com)!


End file.
